Aubrie Sellers on “Attachment Theory,” Touring, and Human Connection
- Emma Zoe Polyak
- Jun 28
- 9 min read
On her latest album, Attachment Theory, Aubrie Sellers paired deeply personal songwriting with an exploration of relationship psychology. She also extended the conversation beyond the record through a companion podcast that invites listeners to consider the themes that appear in the album.
At the time of our conversation Aubrie Sellers was preparing to head out on tour, this time pulling double duty as both an opener for and a member of Parker McCollum’s band. All of this after a surprise appearance at the Academy of Country Music Awards with McCollum and Lee Ann Womack.
Open and easy to talk with, Sellers moved naturally between reflections on the whirlwind of award shows and touring, the psychology behind Attachment Theory, and what it means to navigate the music industry as an introvert.
Emma Zoe Polyak: Thank you for taking the time to chat with me, I know it’s been a busy time for you. The last time we were scheduled to talk, you had the Academy of Country Music Awards come up, so I wanted to start by asking about that experience.
Aubrie Sellers: It was super cool. I’ve been to the ACMs before just as a spectator artist, so performing was really special. I also got to sing with Parker, who I’ve been out on the road with for about a year and a half now. It was exciting to see him win, because you never really know what’s going to happen. When they announced his name, I’ve never been more excited. It was a really fun experience.
EZP: And you're heading back out on tour with him?
AS: Yes, and I’m opening now, so that’s super fun. I’ll be doing double duty – opening and then also singing with him and his band.
EZP: Is there any additional preparation, mentally, that you have to do for that?
AS: Yeah. We actually haven’t had rehearsal yet for my set, so we’ll be rehearsing the day of the first show. That’s a little nerve-wracking, but I know we’ll kill it. The set’s short, which helps. It’ll be tiring, but in a good way.
EZP: When you’re creating your set or preparing, do you approach it differently when you’re opening for an artist versus doing your own headline tour?
AS: Yeah, that’s something I used to struggle with, especially with festivals – country festivals, rock festivals, mixed ones like Bonnaroo. I used to wonder how much you should tailor your set to the environment. Now, I think about it more as an introduction in that I probably won’t play my weirdest songs.
I also consider the audience a bit – in this case, it’s a more mainstream country crowd. But I will say, especially with Parker’s recent record, he makes very honest, heartfelt music. So, I don’t feel like I’m stepping into something I need to completely adjust for. I’m also doing a Chris Stapleton cover, because he was one of the first artists who ever took me out on tour, so it feels like a nice full-circle moment.
EZP: Tell me about your new album, Attachment Theory. I listened to it a bunch in preparation for this interview, and I found it super relatable at times. What has the response been like since you started touring it?
AS: Parker’s had me sing some of [the songs from the album] during his sets, which has been great, so I’ve gotten to see how his audience responds too. It’s been really well received overall.
Doing the podcast alongside the album has helped a lot as well. Because the record is so focused on relationships, I think the podcast gave people permission to reach out more and share their own experiences. People send me their stories, and I also had a kind of “love line” where people could submit relationship questions. That’s been really fun and interesting to engage with.
Part of why I started the podcast was because attachment theory and relationship psychology have been things I’ve been interested in for a long time. I wanted to bring that into something more concrete than just music. It’s opened up a way for people to share their own stories, connect songs to their lives, and really engage with the project in a personal way.
I’ve also really enjoyed it because it feels more human than just promoting an album. Sometimes music promotion can start to feel like there’s a wall between you and the audience, and I’ve always missed that direct connection.
That’s also why I love going to merch tables after shows – you get to actually meet the people listening and hear what they connected with.
EZP: The podcast is a really interesting extension of the album – it’s not just about breaking down songs, but more so about people and their experiences, and then connecting that back to the music.
AS: I always say it’s not really a music podcast – it’s a relationship podcast with a bit of music at the end. Each episode focuses on the theme of a song. So for example, “Subatomic” is about how someone can make you feel small in a relationship, which, through attachment theory, often shows up with avoidant dynamics – that was my experience and where the song came from. Then there’s “Villain of the Week,” which touches on dating apps and modern relationship patterns that are kind of new, but also very old at the same time.
EZP: You’ve clearly done a lot of research into attachment theory. How much of that was personal experience versus intentional study for the project?
AS: I first learned about attachment theory when I read a book called Attached. I read it when I was about 21, and I’ve had it in the background as a framework ever since. I tend to be someone who has longer-term relationships, so I haven’t had a huge number of them, but I’ve dated across the attachment spectrum – anxious, avoidant, somewhere in between, and thankfully secure too.
Over time, I kept learning more – through books, online research, following therapists and attachment theory specialists. In the last five years or so, I also started learning about relationship anxiety, or relationship OCD, which I think the podcast is actually touching on in an upcoming episode. It’s something I’ve been orbiting around for a while. And recently, especially with social media, attachment theory has become much more widely discussed.
As for the record itself, I don’t usually start with a concept. I write songs, and then I start noticing patterns. With this album, I realized I was writing almost entirely about relationships. Then I wrote the title track, “Attachment Theory,” and thought it could actually be a really interesting album title.
At that point, it felt natural. I was already thinking about these things constantly, talking about them with friends, and I wanted to bring both my experiences and what I’d been learning into one place. It’s been really fulfilling, especially hearing from people who say it’s helped them or that they’re going through something similar.
EZP: Were there any songs that were more challenging to write, especially given how personal the album is?
AS: I usually write either alone or with people I’ve known for a long time, so there’s already a level of comfort there. I’ve worked with many of the same collaborators since my first record, which has been really great. On this album, I also worked with some new people, but I was lucky that there was instant chemistry both musically and personally.
“Trigger Happy,” for example, was written on a retreat. It was the first time I met Vanessa Olivarez and Amie Miriello, but we clicked immediately, which made it feel very safe to open up. The vulnerability was always there, but I felt supported in exploring it. I think the scarier part is actually releasing it into the world.
EZP: Do you have any favorite songs from the album to play live? I know some of them are a bit more subdued than your earlier work, so I wonder if that changes how they feel in a live setting.
AS: Totally. It’s always been easier to play the rockier songs live because of the energy. So, it can feel very vulnerable to perform something like “Subatomic.” “Prototype” is another one that’s emotionally heavier. “Trigger Happy,” though, is fun. It’s also the wordiest song I’ve ever written, so it’s literally a challenge just figuring out where to breathe.
Emotionally, it’s been interesting because I’ve played these songs in very different settings – from small rooms on my recent tour to arenas with Parker – and it changes the experience a lot. In small venues, you can see every facial expression and hear every breath, which makes it more intense. In arenas, it can actually feel slightly easier, because the focus is less individual.
EZP: Speaking a bit more about touring, I also read your essay in Atwood Magazine about loneliness, and I wonder how you stay grounded on the road. Mental health on tour feels like a big conversation right now.
AS: Touring can be really hard. On my last tour with Jade, I was very lucky – she’s become one of my closest friends, which makes a huge difference. At the beginning of touring, I didn’t really know anyone on the bus, and I remember thinking, “What have I done? I don’t know any of these people.” But I quickly felt very supported.
I’ve also been learning to understand how I function best. I’m quite introverted, and there isn’t much alone time on tour. At one point I was trying to do too much and I had to step back and accept that I needed rest time. Staying connected with friends and family is also important, even if it’s just phone calls. I also journal a lot – that’s always been my way of processing things.
EZP: As a fellow introvert, I love hearing that you manage that within such an extroverted job.
AS: If you haven’t yet, you should read Quiet by Susan Cain. It really helped me reframe how I saw introversion. We live in a world that often rewards extroverted traits, but the book explains why introversion isn’t a flaw – just a different way of operating.
Another thing that helped me, as far as protecting mental health on tour, is reading about being a highly sensitive person. There are a lot of books on that as well, and those books really helped me understand more about myself and what I need to function properly.
EZP: I’ll have to look into them! I’ve experienced some of those assumptions as well, but if anything, you’re a testament that you can do what is arguably one of the most extroverted jobs regardless.
AS: I actually made a video one time about stage fright, because it was such a thing I struggled with early on. I think I didn’t fully understand all of that yet. It was before I had read those books I told you about, and I felt very much like, “Can I do this?” But learning more about it helped me go, “Yeah, I can do this, I just have to structure it in a different way.”
EZP: Do you still get stage fright?
AS: Not nearly to the same degree. I used to have it really badly, but I would still push through it. It was honestly miserable at times. Now it’s much more manageable. A lot of what helped was learning to not put performances on a pedestal. What helped me was to see it as just another part of the day – like eating or writing – rather than something separate and overwhelming. That shift made a huge difference.
EZP: How do you feel your music has evolved over time, especially with this album?
AS: I’ve always had a pretty clear sense of what I wanted to do musically. I was influenced early on by artists who blended worlds – I’ve always been more of an artist-first listener rather than genre-first. I love Lana Del Rey, Tame Impala, Ralph Stanley – it’s all about unique voices.
With each record, I’ve just gotten closer to fully realizing my vision. This one pushes a bit more into alternative sonically. It can be tricky from a business perspective because it doesn’t always fit neatly into categories, but creatively that’s never been the goal.
I’d rather make something true to me and see where it lands.
EZP: I like what you said about being a fan of artists rather than genres. I think people are moving more in that direction now.
AS: Totally. I think people who are really into music tend to listen across everything. They might have preferences, but they’re open. And, in general, people connect with the artist that speaks to them. I do think it’s easier than ever now to discover different types of music you might not otherwise encounter. Even radio stations used to be very genre-driven.
So, it’s cool that we’re breaking through some of those borders now.
